Archive

Command

First commandment is "You shall have no other gods before me." When I had my psychotic break, the "people" would constantly take the position, assume it, that every good thing I do is because they exist and are watching me, while every bad thing I did

Name

If I don't know their name or where they come from, they're keeping their options open. That's a rule of the streets. That's how you know something criminal is going down. I give my name when I mean well. Anything that demands

Parcel

Out on the farm, the corners of parcels are marked with big iron stakes into the ground. I know just where one is because it's in the road in front of Mom and Uncle John's house. Now, I remember being out here in years past, with

Howdy

"I can't afford to pay attention."

Bus

It's like you're driving the bus for the city, and it's full of irate passengers who all hate your driving. Do that for a number of years every waking moment. That's what it feels like. Now think about being on a treadmill

Blood

Blood has the life. Blood is where we have atonement. Atonement is achieved by a thorough examination of ones self. You need an inventory of your stuff, and I think a very thorough 12 step program can help open some things up, and you need reconciliation. Whether the reconciliation needs

Vault

A few things to know. One is about the jailers. One is about iron. One is about the Holy Spirit's guidance while under arrest. One is about fault. Jailers - They're called tormenters and judges, but jailers is proper. Iron - You might find they come

NO ACK

Don't acknowledge. Not from you. Not your thoughts. Keep your mouth shut. Psalm 38:14-17 NO ACK.

Lament

That cry—"How long, O Lord?"—echoes through scripture, especially in the Psalms. It’s a plea of endurance, a longing for justice, for relief, for God’s presence to break through. Would you like to sit with a specific passage today? Psalm 13 is a powerful one:

Urgency

Urgency is a blessing. A lot of people in this world act out of no sense of urgency, but you have it. When I was growing up I always just figured as a Christian I'd clean up whatever I could on the back nine, and God said, "

Ascension

I've thought about this for a while. I've concluded that ascension is not now, but we can draw close to God for temporary healing. The best analogy I've heard is a simple one. You draw close to God for a taste of the celebration

Ministers

I think it's important to understand direction when it comes to ministers. Angels will direct you home, or toward your belief. Demons will direct you toward despair, or dread. Demons will also extrapolate their ministry out far enough to where you don't quite know where you&

Keel

It's about balance. Balance in this regard is about discernment. There's a concept in Alcoholics Anonymous that is called "Living On The Beam". This is living in service of a keel. There are certain principles that we have to stick to on the beam

Rudder

Let's talk about the tongue. With me, when this first started and I was trying to get a handle on it, while on anti-psychotics, I could see in my brain, behind the frontal lobe in the center, a flap that moved like a rudder, and water would move

Farts

Promises to be quiet.

Dread

This is the worst topic. Schizophrenia at its worst, and I've heard this from other people, and agree, is despair. Dread is void of any hope, and schizophrenics are touched by this low-vibing dirt farmer everyday. What I know about desperation is its refusal mostly. Usually drugs don&

Humor

When my break first happened, and I was settling in, I found no laughter whatsoever in my condition at all. It was a bit unnerving. It wouldn't be me without bad jokes. So, if you can integrate a little levity to the situation, I say it's

Media

I respectfully recline to vomit. Results are immediate.

Vernacular

I find it important to keep within your own vernacular, but I also find it important to study what it is, the roots of words, how they've evolved over time. Sometimes people call things out to us that seem out of left field. You won't really

Thanks

This was a taboo that was troubling to me for a while, but I've made up my mind about it. In some cultures, "Thanks" is regarded as dismissive, but not in mine. Thanks, is good to say when you mean it. I find it even worse

Music

Music is a safe space for you to express a range of emotions. We want to be around someone who tries to think the best of us. Thats what you need to know.

Gabapentin

Don't.

Condemnation

This is a heavy subject, but I'm going to get my thoughts down about it. Being schizophrenic means it's said I converse with spirits, and they have to be evil ones. Now, I have taken that stance in the past, but that didn't help

Meditation

I find it important to set our intentions here. Our intentions are to heal. Living with paranoia is walking a razor's edge at great heights all the time. When you are up there long enough, you lose patience and become troubled. We lose patience because we don'

Transgression

"Jesus came to fulfill the Law." This is a powerful statement. It means a couple different things. First that the Law's jurisdiction has been enhanced, and now governs our thought-life, and all of our compulsory behavior, but that this should be considered only with the other

God bless you

I want to give you something simple, but it seems really hard for people to do due to pride. If you find yourself in an investment, or in the midst of persecution, then Jesus says to bless our accusers, and pray for those that persecute us. So, the next time

Doubt

When I was at my worst, I was living in what I came to regard as a military investment. An investment is siege, in this case, of the mind. In an investment the main objective is to cut a town off from any supply route. It was like living in

First things first

First thing we're going to talk about is your heart. Through the ages, there have been many generations of people who have been cultivating implicit belief in their hearts, and it's passed down through ancestral memory. If you've ever had sincere doubts about people&